Cameroon 0-1 Gabon – African Cup of Nations

Could the real Samuel Eto'o please stand up?

18:01
Ben sums everything up nicely: “Gabon were well-organised but really didn’t have to do as much as expected to win. Cameroon looked strangely flat for the whole second half and there was no urgency as the time ticked down. The tournament continues to surprise…” Well said, sir. And, with that, I will leave you. Thanks for all your messages. See you next time.

18:00
As the tannoy announcer helpfully tells the crowd “this is the end of the game between Cameroon and Gabon”, the Gabon squad invade the pitch to celebrate. What a performance by the underdogs. Cameroon were poor, but Gabon made had a lot to do with that. The favourites were never given a moment’s peace. Another upset in a great tournament so far.

17:59
IT’S OVER!

17:58
Gabon are nearly there. What a team performance. They have chased down everything. One minute to go.

17:56
WOW! Gabon substitute Aubameyang hits a booming free-kick which cannons off the bar. So unlucky. That would have been special.

17:55
Cameroon are frantically trying to score. Tchoyi gets the ball wide right but he’s so eager he belts the ball of the pitch. Very poor. Cameroon boss Paul Le Guen looks like his dog’s just died.

17:53
I didn’t quite realise the lateral thinking of Jonny’s comment. He explains: “Joseph needs a job….geddit? It was off the cuff and not thought through.” Now I see. SIX MINUTES of injury time.

17:51
OVONO makes a superb stop! Geremi’s second free-kick is a descent dipping effort but Ovono tips it over. Song has a shot from the corner but he blasts over. One minute left.

17:50
Kessany brings down Idrissou and Cameroon have a free-kick within shooting range. Geremi blasts the ball against the wall but they weren’t the requisite ten yards. There’s another booking. Here comes Geremi again….

17:49
PUN OF THE DAY, without doubt. Ben says: “Emena has worked hard today. I reckon he’s run about 8 mile.” Gabon look comfortable and they have won a free-kick in a good position. They’ll take about 20 minutes to take this I reckon. It comes to nothing.

17:47
Jonny says: “Joseph Desire Job. A scouser surely?” Do you mean he now lives in Liverpool and listens to Phil Collins with Stevie G? Five minutes to go.

17:45
Idrissou goes in a bit strongly on Ovono who makes the most of it to say the least. He’s rolling about all over the place. More valuable time wasted for Gabon. Cameroon look beaten. Emina is talking to himself and I don’t think he’s being complimentary.

17:43
This is a good one. Greece are known as To Piratiko, or The Pirate Ship. Nice. Ovono nearly mucks everything up by spilling a free-kick but he gets away with it. Good lad.

17:39
Ooooh! Tchoyi pings in a shot but it’s off target. Gabon’s Meye is replaced and gets a yellow card for walking off the pitch too slowly. Cameroon starting to look desperate now. Alex Song is playing very deep – he needs to propel the team forward. It’s too easy for Gabon.

17:38
Another good save from Ovono. Eto’o’s (is that punctuation right) shot is deflected goalwards but Ovono is equal to it. And he’s done it again! I want to buy that man a drink. Fifteen minutes to go now.

17:36
Rigobert Song is playing in his EIGHTH Cup of Nations. Crikey. His team start to look a bit more threatening but their attacks again come to nothing. Gabon, meanwhile, are building a fence on the 18 yard box. Great shot by Emena which is saved by Ovono. The corner goes out of play. Ovono should get a knighthood for this.

17:32
Nice reducer by Geremi who leaves N’Guema in a heap. Alain Giresse is starting to look worried. Gabon seemed to have given up attacking. They are sending a message to Cameroon and it is this: “WE ARE GOING TO DEFEND AND THAT’S IT. ARE YOU GOOD ENOUGH TO BEAT US OR WHAT YOU BUNCH OF MUPPETS?”

17:31
First booking of the game goes to Gabon’s N’Guema for wasting time taking a corner. It’s clear how Gabon are going to take things from here.

17:29
Apparently the USA’s nickname is MNT – can anyone guess what that stands for?

17:28
Gabon have started wasting time already. There are still more than 20 minutes to play. They are edging closer to an historic victory, though, so who can blame them?

17:26
Comedy defending! An awful backpass means Ovono has to head clear. That could have gone very wrong. Idrissou is on for (upright) Webo for Cameroon. Djissikadie is on for Gabon. Sad to say I’m not sure who went off.

17:25
Great bit of football as Song’s ball releases Eto’o who finally shows a bit of energy and skill. Great defending by Ecuele as he shepherds Eto’o away from goal. They are starting to look interested now.

17:22
Cameroon win a free-kick which Eto’o takes quickly to set up Emana. He tries to lift it over the keeper but he absolutely shanks it for a throw-in. Ovono is unimpressed with his defenders again. How long can Gabon hold out?

17:20
“What’s a stooping Webo?” asks Duncan. Well, I can tell you that a stooping Webo is a Webo that is neither standing up nor lying down but is at an indeterminate point somewhere between the two.

17:18
Another good save from Ovono. A Cameroon corner is headed goalwards by Makoun but the keeper parries well. Gabon get a free-kick but Akouassanga’s shot is bobbins.

17:17
Emana unleashes a bullet of a shot but it flashes across goal. That’s better. Duncan asks: “Have there been any reducers or little eyebrows yet?” Sadly not. It’s all been a bit tame really.

17:15
“Weren’t the Black Panthers a militant racial equality group in the US in the 1960s, rather than a plucky Central African football team?” says Graham Onions’ bat. Captain Eto’o gets the ball again but can’t be bothered doing anything.

17:13
Another good chance for Cameroon. Tchoyi puts in a great cross but a stooping Webo can only head tamely wide. Ovono gives his defenders a thorough finger wagging session.

17:12
Song puts Tchoyi in with a lovely through-ball but the substitute scuffs his shot like a true Sunday leaguer. He looks sharp though.

17:11
Mike asks a good question: “Where is Joseph Desire Job this year? a great player for Cameroon over the years.” Anyone know the answer?

17:10
Ben says: “The H is good, but I always preferred Lisa Scott-Lee or at a push Lee Latchford-Evans. On that subject it would certainly be a Tragedy if Cameroon get nothing from this game.”

17:08
Eto’o shows a nice bit of skill but his through ball is poor. Song does the same thing. Cameroon need to shake off their collective lethargy.

17:07
Second half not too far away now. The cameras have just panned to the obligatory shot of a big fat bloke covered in body paint in front of a full band consisting mainly of drums and whistles. Subsitution for Cameroon. Celtic’s Nguemo is off and Tchoyi is on. And.. they’re off!

16:59
I think The Squirrels is good but, apparently, Honduras are known simply as ‘The H’. Beat that.

16:54
Ben’s gone all wordy on us. “Are Cameroon going to change their nickname to The Easily Domitable Lions if the score stays the same?” Clever clogs.

16:53
That’s half-time. Well, that was a turn up. Cameroon started brilliantly but it was all downhill from there. Cousin took his chance well and some good goalkeeping and a magnificent work ethic have kept Gabon in the lead. What’s going to happen in the second half? And who should do a duet with Emana? And what’s the best football team nickname ever?

16:51
The Videprinter’s statistician in chief, Ben, has enlightened me on Gabon’s name: “Gabon are The Black Panthers, which I think is a decent nickname. Not as good as The Squirrels of Benin though.” I agree.

16:49
Finally Eto’o does something – a nice bit of footwork but the move fizzles out.

16:48
Just a minute to go till half-time now. What are Cameroon doing? Graham Onion’s bat believes “Cameroon have possibly the worst defence ever seen.” I reckon Angola might just pip them to that title.

16:47
Mike says “Eto’o has been a disapointment, as Emana might say; ‘Could the real Samuel Eto’o please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.'” Indeed, Mike!

16:45
Gabon are working extremely hard as a unit. It’s impressive to see. Any time Cameroon get past the halfway line they are instantly harried. Gabon’s Kessany wins possession and cuts inside but goes down in a heap. No foul.

16:43
Graham Onions’ bat asks “do Gabon have an animal nickname as well?” Good question, which I am ashamed to say I do not know the answer to. Can anyone help me out? I know that Cameroon are the Indomitable Lions though – what a great nickname.

16:42
Emana gets a shooting chance from outside the box but he blasts over. Several Cameroon players wanted a cross and they let the big man know about it.

16:40
But Geremi blasts it straight at the wall. Kind of sums up Cameroon’s performance really.

16:39
Just spotted Alex Winstanley’s prediction of a 5-0 Cameroon win. Hopefully you didn’t put any money on it Alex. Hang on. Cameroon have a free-kick in a good position.

16:34
Cameroon’s Emena is a very big unit. I’m glad I’m not playing against him. His name sounds a bit like Eminem so we’ve got a rapper and a singer songwriter. Brave keeping by Ovono as he dives at the feet of Emenim, sorry, Emena’s feet.

16:33
My internet connection went down again so I’ve no idea what’s just happened. Gabon are more than holding their own thus far. Cameroon have won another corner, though, after some nice football. But yet again the corner comes to nothing.

16:30
Jonny has emailed in to say that “Daniel Cousin sounds like he should be a fairly wet middle of the road singer songwriter.” That is very true. His name definitely conjures images of pointless warbling. Maybe he should do a duet with another Daniel: the dreaded Bedingfield. Or maybe not. Which other footballers sound like they could be pop stars?

16:28
Geremi pummels in a free-kick which Ovono punches straight up in the air and behind for a corner. Cameroon waste the resultant dead-ball. The favourites are huffing and puffing but they’re not really doing enough. Gabon look like they might score again!

16:26
Gabon are attacking again. How dare they? A good inswinging free-kick causes problems then a corner causes panic. Cameroon need to get themselves together.

16:23
Gabon have only beaten Cameroon ONCE before and that was in a a friendly 20 years ago. Can they make it the big T-W-O? GREAT SAVE FROM OVONO in the Gabon goal. Webo swivels and shoots but the keeper flings himself down to his right to save. Now it’s ON.

16:21
GOAL FOR GABON! Blimey. Hull’s Daniel Cousin pounces on some slack Cameroon defending to open the scoring. Nice controlled finish past the keeper. That wasn’t in the script.

16:20
Good play down the right by Cameroon but Makoun can’t keep the ball in play. Gabon are stroking it about at the back. Slightly unwise I would say. It’s all a bit half-paced so far really.

16:18
Geremi is winning his 109th cap today and he celebrates by conceding a foul. Gabon hoist the resultant free-kick into the area, which almost deceives Kameni. But it doesn’t.

16:16
The pitch looks in good nick and so do Cameroon. Song is running the show in the middle and Newcastle’s Geremi is causing problems down the right. Nice crisp passing but, as yet, no end product. Gabon are blowing bubbles already.

16:12
Cameroon win another corner but Emana’s high, swinging ball goes over everyone and out of play. Looks like it’s tin helmet time for Gabon. Cameroon’s skin tight kit makes them look terrifying.

16:10
Six minutes gone. Cameroon look dangerous again with a low cross that the keeper diverts away. Then Emana hits the post with a fantastic shot from the edge of the box after turning two defenders. Good save by the keeper, in fact. It’s all Cameroon at the minute.

16:09
First bit of real action. Cameroon win a corner which Geremi takes to the back post. Arsenal’s Alex Song can only spoon it out for a goal kick, though.

16:08
Here are the teams:
Gabon: Ovono, Ambourouet, Moudongam, Ecuele, Brou, Akouassanga, Assiemou, Moubamba, Kessany, Cousin, Aubameyang
Cameroon: Kameni, Nkoulou, Song, Geremi, Bedimo, Song, Makoun, Nguemo, Webo, Emana, Eto’o

16:05
A great start as my internet connection crashes! It’s just come back to life and I can tell you that play has started and the first goalkeeping howler actually happened within 20 seconds. Who would have thought it? Cameroon’s Kameni could only parry a low cross towards the penalty spot.

16:00
If I could find the teams anywhere online, I would give them to you. But I can’t. However, I can tell you that Cameroon are coached by ex-Rangers boss Paul Le Guen and are captained by Eto’o. Gabon, meanwhile, are coached by French 80s midfield legend Alain Giresse. Game on.

15:59
1-0 to Gabon on the national anthems. Their tune was a much jollier affair than Cameroon’s rather turgid effort.

15:58
Good afternoon, and welcome to The Videprinter’s UBER-LIVE coverage of Cameroon vs Gabon, the first match in Group D of the African Cup of Nations. Four-time winners Cameroon, led by Inter’s Samuel Eto’o, are one of the tournament favourites. A win for their unfancied opponents Gabon would be a big surprise but, if this tournament has taught us anything so far, it is to expect the bloody well unexpected. In a tournament characterised by inexplicable goalkeeping, I reckon the first howler will come withing the first four minutes. Any advances on that?